Confessions of a Beauty Junkie

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Getting Xen

Happy Father's Day to all the daddies and granddaddies out there! (I don't really expect any of you to read this blog.) If you're anywhere in the southeast, you know that this week has been hotter than a June bride in a feather bed, and the only activity worth thinking about involves lounging poolside and being brought cold beverages on demand (preferrably by a pretty, mute cabana boy). That said, I'm immediately hit with a mini-panic at the thought of baring my legs/ arms/ gut/ etc., because (as I've said before) I'm beyond pale. This time of year is a never-ending cycle of applying self-tanner, riding it out for a few days, noticing that said tanner is starting to fade and disintegrate, scrubbing away the remnants, and starting all over again. I don't always have time to scrub and reload in the same sitting, which results in blinding people until I can re-spray or -lotion myself. Today is one of those days, as was evidenced by my lily-assed-white arms and legs flailing about in Zumba class this afternoon. (The fact that I was next to my beautiful bronzed sister in-law didn't help.) (Also? She's way better at Zumba than I am. You want to hate her, but dammit, she's too cute and funny.) (And tan.) When I do get back to a semi-normal color, it will be thanks to Xen-Tan.

Xen-Tan is one of the newest self-tanning lines out there, and I scarfed some up before we went to Destin earlier this month. Going on vacay usually adds to the tan-panic (tanic?), because chlorine and salt water are notorious for eating away a beautiful sunless tan, and drain all moisture from my skin the process. To add insult to injury, most self-tanning products do nothing for moisturizing dry skin. See? A dilemma that begats a "tanic." So. Back to Xen-Tan. I researched the line and saw that everyone had given it rave reviews, particularly about the fact that a very natural-looking, "brown" tan is produced. Sadly, it's only available online these days, but that didn't stop me from ordering the spray, the lotion, the extender, and the handy-dandy sponge used to apply the spray from Nordstrom (good Gawd, I love Nordstrom-- they're finally coming to Nashville, which means that I will never be able to retire). And? I love it! The spray is beyond instant, and can be tricky to get right around feet, toes, and hands. The sponge helps. I used the spray a couple of times on vacation before going out at night and then put the lotion on top before bed. I didn't really bother with the extender, because we were in either the ocean or the pool everyday and I looked positively ghost-like by the end of the day. (Note to self: must develop a sunless tanner that laughs in the face of chlorine and salt. Bonus points if it has a snarky name.) The best thing about Xen-Tan products is the smell... or, more accurately, the lack thereof. You know that weird, starchy smell that usually emanates from your pores when you're self-tanning? Not the case with Xen-Tan. Now, to be fair, the tank top I slept in smelled that way the morning after I applied the spray, but I could really give a damn about a ratty old tank top (it's just as romantic as it sounds, my husband loves it). The fact that that smell wasn't on my skin was good enough for me.

So, go get some immediately. I plan to try the fancy new "Luxe" group of products next. Of course I will let y'all know what I think about it. In the meantime, I'm off to find my enemies and blind them with my legs. Maybe that's what Thomas Dolby was talking about when he said "science." He was pretty pale...