Confessions of a Beauty Junkie

Friday, September 11, 2009

I Got Ya Friction Riiiiiight Ovah Here.

Hello, strangers. I was gently motivated to contribute a new tidbit by my sweet mommy (though she totally didn't mean it that way), who recently asked, "Have you put anything new in your blog recently? I haven't seen anything..." Um, no, Mama, I haven't. I figure the least I can do is proffer a few words for Mama and all my other peeps to chew on for a few minutes. So here goes:

Have we talked about Tarte's fRxtion (pronounced "friction") yet? No? Oh goodness, set your alarm and go get some in the a.m. It may be the best twelve bucks you'll ever spend. This fabulous lip-scrub-and-balm combo is packaged in a split stick that has a mirror built into the cap (um, Fabulous, party of one...). One side is a sugar scrub in an emollient base, and the other side is a yummy lip balm. Give that pucker a good scrubbin', and just try not to lick the scrub side (you won't be able to refrain, trust). Now wipe off the scrub and load up on the balm. Now go flit about and try not to act surprised when you hear, "Excuse me, Miss Jolie, can I get an autograph?" (Also, Angelina? Stop it. Stop with the tattoos, stop with the baby factory, stop with the emaciation, just stop. Brad was way hotter before you ensnared him in your evil black-leather web. Jen may not be able to keep a man, but at least she's not trying to channel Elvira. Have I mentioned that the Oak Ridge Boys' "Elvira" was my FAVORITE song when I was little? Loved!)

This was the other weapon in my arsenal during the Colorado trip last month. My piehole got a good two rounds of fRxtion everyday to keep dryness and scaly bits at bay, and it kicked ass. Look at it this way: the afforability of fRxtion totally offsets the exorbitant price tag of the Glam Balm. But both are fab, and you seriously need both as we head into the season we call Winter (that toothless whore). So go get it, and scrub-and-balm away. You'll thank me. You'll also thank me when I quit being a no-count and am better about posting. Okay, I've gotta go-- a new episode of "Golden Girls" is starting. Don't ever accuse me of not having my priorities straight...